Tuesday, 16 June 2009

If only I were a boy.

ps:) The title of the post does not go along the post rather the post is written to shoot down the title.
Long post ....Disagreement wud be accepted..indifference won't be!!

If you are a woman you'd surely have to face a lot of problems in life(I know problems is not the correct word).


All women face...(now please do not come to argue with me on some stupid medical condition/deformity)

Every 28th day they(we) face a problem...after marriage(before too) many face a nine month old ache. They face another problem...and sometimes this crosses limits..this is nothing but eve teasing.

Some women face!!

Gender bias (most do ...not necessarily at home)..domestic violence...abuse at workplaces...many more.

In this male dominated society/world of ours...women have to face so much of injustice.

And I am sure...there will be only a few women who've never ever wished to be a male. The rest always did sometime or the other.

I too used to..(not now though) and not because of family at all. Because of some things I couldn't take.

There are some who still wish to be a male.

I have always dreamt of a good career...because with that only I'd be self dependent.(same category i fall in)
Name and Fame is secondary/or doesn't exist for me at all.

Well I've seen many women who proudly announce their achievements in their careers but such women are utter failures in relationships.

A woman who doesn't know how to manage relationships but is successful in a failure in life.(vice versa also exists).

Do we ever take pride in saying "yes i know to cook so many things, I know how to manage my family".

These things appear to us as petty (tutch ...hindi ).

What I ultimately feel is when these women (failures at home) run in search of equality they are following the "men".

I mean when we shout loud about our achievements in career...have they seen men doing so?(now please do not bring in those chefs at 5 and 7 star Hotels as a comparison)

Do men also do the same??
Do they take pride in saying "heyy u know i learned so much of cooking/ home management"////????(here I am not saying that what women does /knows to do is cooking.... it's just an example.)

Isn't it a kind of insecurity??

Do these men have that?? Do they?? Do they feel..if they don't learn cooking what would happen of them??
While we feel a lot. Feminists are actually MCPs..They run after what men do. They announce proudly about their achievements in career.They think to be equal they need to do what men have been doing.

This isn't equality anyway...This is running after just one thing...and this is actually petty.

Another thing that comes in is...economics/money....Is is all because of money??

The importance of a man as compared to a woman is more just because he earns money??

These are some incomplete thoughts /doubts I've been struggling with!!

This post is for all men who do not value the woman/women in their life..and also for women who do not value womanhood..

Though i know womanhood isn't limited just to the family.

As if..... it was equality then men would /we would prefer to be hungry every Sunday and half of Saturday.

We /other/any..woman works extra..yet her work is labelled "petty". Why??


Arv said...

LOL... wat a post :)

Quest said...

I choose to be indifferent.... ;)

I value all the women, gals in my life :D to an extent that I am confused to choose whom :P

Harshita said...

Nanhi Pari,

That's an interesting post by you.

You've being into a lot of constructive thinking I believe.

Well I agree, women shud acknowledge their achievements without being relative to what men do.

So if a woman is good in her career... she is good on her own... she need not compare it to men...

Another thing... u knw why successful career women lack in relationships : Well,we are conditioned by the society in such a manner that a man is the breadwinner and woman the home-bound person... the women are changing but the men will take their time to accept the change and that is something that's causing most of the rifts...

I know some of the most wonderful men who encourage their wives to do their best in careers.

So I think high time a balance is struck by both men and women.

Achchi post hain.. kaafi discussion ka scope mil gaya.

Suree said...

This post reminded me of a movie in which they say a theory of how men got the aggression over women..

in the beginning of the era, women are the food getters and men stay at home...

men asks women to help them relax by doing some massages after intercourse..that is the point where he shown the aggression at first.. then when the woman get pregnant she wont be able to go for the hunt and the man takes the job, meanwhile increase the aggression over the women...

They said so many things in the movie which cant recollect now...

Keshi said...

I cannot relate much to this post Joyce, cos where I live women r respected equally. Though it's a male dominated world, ofcourse all men know that if not for a woman, they wouldnt be alive, right? :)

**...there will be only a few women who've never ever wished to be a male.

Im one of them. I never dreamt of wanting to be male, no ways! Im blessed to be a woman and as much as I respect my gender, I do respect the opp sex too.

But I do know that in some parts of countries like India, SL and the Middle East, women r not appreciated as much as they need to be. It's really an INDIVIDUAL thing. Such men need Counseling :)

**There are some who still wish to be a male.

Direct em to Sex-change surgery lol!

Jokes apart, if a woman wished that she was a man, then Im sorry to say that she should be ashamed of herself. Being a woman, we can be proud of many things (sans all the pain but I believe even men hv to go thru alot of shit). And there r some men who truly appreciate the women in their life.

thats just my opinion tho :)


Devil Incarnate... said...

Ur post actually made me think..
coz though every talks abt equality, problems or wtever, noone has really made a point explain, y is it so?
Let me tell u apart frm sme small petty things, i never really felt that women are weak, the women around me including my mom hav shown me that women are always successful and strong, both in professional and personal life.
I love being women, and next birth also i wud want to the way i am nw..
women think " it was better to b men", whn they hav probs which they r nt able to solve, bt that doesnt mean that prob will never b solved..

Suresh Kumar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vyshu said...

I come under that "few women who've never ever wished to be a male.."..even in my problems..I love to face being a gal though..

I have seen male domination /bias even in corporates.It has become an obvious thing where i live...

For Woman's day our organization conducted an essay competition globally and the topic was"How does women struggle/manage to climb the success ladder after their formal break(Maternity/marriage) from work ?

And,interestingly i found one discussion on common forum ..

One Guy was asking..."Why every where woman were getting pampered..They want equal rights ..but they expect extra pampering..
..etc.." their point is
"why to conduct special essay writing poll for women.."...I cnt tell you the extent of their cynicism ..

Asking someone to write an essay about the problems they face in establishing a career, managing a home & children, juggling the role of a mother, taking a break to care for young children and yet trying to climb the Corporate ladder, is not exactly pampering :)

I just want to bring this point to touch different perspectives of ppl at different levels.

----The importance of a man as compared to a woman is more just because he earns money??

But if the Woman earns more than man ,such importance is not given...Most of the cases Domination/importance has nothing to do with Money.

At least in my case,My Guy takes care of cooking than i do..nothing like its Man-work/Woman-work...

Suresh Kumar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suresh Kumar said...

Back to Back.... u have left me confused.... when i was a kid, i thought it was better to be a girl... she never gets scolding from the dad...

some boy students who were poor in studies used to say, "If Girls fail after matriculation, it is marriage... If boys fail, it is garage..."

But I do understand its not easy to be a girl...specially when she becomes a woman... the transformation stage is the most confusing one...
And there are three women in my family I know, all in their fifties and all plagued by similar health problems which are common among women...
and men are not bothered by these things...

Women have to move along with the nature... They have no escape, it seems... Is it a gift or not... I have been unable to come to a conclusion

Amal Bose said...

that was a nice post...
coming to it, i dont consider women as inferior to men in any cases.. infact i believe they can carry out stuff better than men in many areas.

but wat uve told is right.. i know many girls who wished to be a male..
and regarding the cooking/home management stuff u talked about, i have a friend (male) who is crazy abt cooking.. infact, i think he knows more abt cooking than my mother.. n not only cooking other stuff too

that was a really great post..
take care :)

Dhanya said...

A very interesting post Priya! Yeah girls do have to face a lot of difficulties - now both at work and home as compared to 'just at home' like in the yesteryears.

I guess it all depends on the individual whether she can balance out her life at work and at home. And it also depends on how understanding the spouse is.

About the women gloating about their work part, it's all justified. I have seen men bragging on and on about how smart they are at their job, so why not women ? Of course, there's a limit to mindless boasting ;) Otherwise I am in awe of women who tell me about their achievements.

Mayz said...

women can have multiple orgasms!!! hmph!!!

Phoenix said...

really interesting read here pj

dekh my version i hope is balanced...
yeah what you said is so true.. i feel we feel are a lot underestimated our achievements too are slighted but men nowadays have become quite a gentlemen.. they are not all MCP's and for proof u will have tons of your blogger mates... but having said that there will exceptions who are MCP's but then dont go by them ...


i hope god makes men give birth and have those monthy thingies.. serves them right why should we suffer!!

Superunknown said...

i dont agree. i dont agree. Today women are as strong as men. May be not in small cities or villages, but in metros and big cities they are. they are independent, they are strong minded and they deserve and get the respect.

they not only manage the home well, but do well in their careers too.

feminists and mcp do exist, but they are limited, their scope is limited and no body gives them much footage.

today is an age of equal rights and independence. if you dont cope with the modern realities and stick with the age old men vs women fights, we vs them or boy vs girl discrimination, i m sorry to say that that thinking is retro.

today in almost every exam across the country girls pip boys. college or schools doesnt matter.

today;s hubband helps his wife in cooking, household stuff, shares responsibilities and helps her out.

as of physical differences are concerned no one can do anything. periods and the stuff.

Thats biological and noone has any say in that.

the patriarchal society is a thing of yore. today s women keep their initial surname along with their hubband s surnames.

dont they. dont we see women with name.firstsurname.secondsurname around ? Women are more aware of their soical rights. and that has come on the back of education nd liberalisation.

a woman today wont stay in abusive relationship or a marriage. she would walk out taking leads.

ask me. my previous managers were ladies and i had tough times :P

joke apart, today's woman is as strong as man in every aspect.

a career woman can be succesful in family too. it all depends on how she and her partner take it. after a lot of thot i have come to conclusion that it cannot be generalised that successful women are not good mothers/wives.

i have seen my family where women have worked well and have been succesful in family stuff too. for that matter in most of the city households.

its the best age to be a woman. it never got better than this age to be a woman. trust me.

Superunknown said...

it got longer PJ the DJ, but i dont agree where somebody says that let men give birth :)

that for me is an example of feminist thinking. This age it just doesnt work. Nope. Nope. it doesnt work.

And does GOD make women give birth? how come GOD comes in here ? Its the biological process that happens behind women giving birth. And if men have to give birth then GOD wont have to step in, its going to be Charles Darwin theory of evolution to work once again for men :)

did i sound like a MCP ?

Saranya said...

Interesting post. Women are increasingly treated equally nowadays and there are men who go on about the little things they have achieved.
I've neva wished to be a male...Not at all. and Never. Its great to be a woman...
*Woman Power*

swati said...

though women today are being respectd on a social level..but if u go looking fr an individual indifferences does exists in todays world too..
women are no more only restricted to homemaker title rather thy equally shoulder the financial responsibilities wid men..
i am proud to be a woman..n every woman shud be proud of herslf :)
Nice post PJ :)
love ya! :)

Priya Joyce said...

@ arv:

heheh u found tat funny ?? :P

Priya Joyce said...

@ amit:
hahah well..that's quite indigestible. so many gals ?? :P

Priya Joyce said...

@ harshi:

yes dear..women find gr8 joy in talking abt their career achievements..but y do not men announce abt their achievements at the family..

well yehe..women shudn't be restricted to too cud be managing homes.
but wen it is like that y is it called petty..kya khana thing hei?? yahi toh log nahi samajhte na yaar.
thnx dear :) huggz

Priya Joyce said...

@ suree:

well may be..that way..but is giving birth to children petty and y only earning the food calculated as a great work??

:) thnx :)

Priya Joyce said...

@ keshi:

lucky u..tat's wat i'd say it isn't lke that.parents dear ones love us but can we shut every mouth that lets out hmmm:(

well yeh every woman who wishes to be a man shud be ashamed of herself..I too am..coz i too wished..ahhh
well nihow..many woman want to be like a man..and that's not equality..equality is in beating men while doing wat we do..not by following them..
if it was like that they wud hav followed us and competed us at family..
is taking care of the family any petty job..
heyy is it bcoz it brings no money.


thnx for the comment dear :):)

Priya Joyce said...

@ devil I:

yeh the last line of ur true..yes and more over..why the hell do they think the other side is better...

and I am very very happy to know that the women on my blog r all proud to be wat they r

thnx dear :)

Pallav said...

again a very thotful post....
what to say.. i m actually not finding right words for all ths..but one thing is sure tht i m not tht who is disrespectful towards womens...

very structured and reflected post...

Priya Joyce said...

@ vyshu:

That was a bunch of very good points...


** But if the Woman earns more than man ,such importance is not given...Most of the cases Domination/importance has nothing to do with Money.

well there are somethings that do not change even if we get a big scientific proof for

we now know that the birth of a gal or a boy child is entirely the responsiblity of the male/dad
but do ppl stop blaming the mother??

so I guess u r or no money..they keep dominating hah!
thnx for the comment dear :)

Priya Joyce said...


yehe the studies thing..wat u true :P but that is bcoz..ppl think marriage is better than working at the garage..but i do not think the same..many women face a lot at the husband's home..

well...yeh men hav to face things like..sympathy is always wth women..but this is too less or an unsoothing balm for wat a woman /women face hah!!

but this is great that women on my blog are proud to be what they are..:)
thnx dear :) :)

Priya Joyce said...

@ amal:

well that's gud.that u don't.and yes why shud you consider women inferior..

well even if she cudn't be able to beat men at offices isn't that enuff that she manages the family..??

does she hav to prove her abilities there also??

no na :)

well yehe..that's gr88..but u'd find only very few men like that while women..many who r at offices working lke men :)

thnx dear :):)

Priya Joyce said...

@ dhanya:

thnz dear...well we women hav to face a lot and yet i am very happy that women here are proud to be wat they r..

abt talking of their achievements at work..yes surely the can..but one thing that makes me feel bad do not so happily announce their achievements at home..(management)

well is petty??

heyy thnx dear :):)

Priya Joyce said...

@ mayz:

hahaha...well...but beware..some of them fake it too :P

Anonymous said...

I am an educated working woman still, at home I have to take care of everything because my husband says the household activities are of women and not men. I fight a lot on this, but he don't wanna listen anything on this.

And, therefore I do all the domestic work plus the office. So, I feel proud to say that I have enough strength that I am not lacking behind in anything. But, yes I always try to find a man in him who support me here too. Want to change but fell helpless.

Priya Joyce said...

@ raka:

thnx dear :)

well yehe our achievements at home were quite underestimated so some frustrated women began working..and of coss's a necessity to have a career..and we dream just that..
very important..yet some women forget that working at home isn't something petty...
well yehe they shud face such things..

but then i think...if only that then..that wud be easy coz we all face a lot more hai na??

thnx :)

Priya Joyce said...

@ sam:

well the post was to shoot down the title..and criticize all women who wanna be males.

well women get this do this have so much more...

this is a reality limited to us..our families..people who r like us.."creamy layer" well the place wer I even today a woman is blamed if she doesn't giv birth to a male child..though scientifically it's all proved..tat a father is responsible for sex determination.

yet ..wat??

the point here is yes we obviously need a career...but wat I say is no big thing compared to home jobs..

my mum has managed both she says the home jobs r far more's just taken for granted...

yet I am proud to be a woman :)

Priya Joyce said...

@ sam:

well I believe even if u people face those things..u won't understand wat a women goes thru..coz giving birth is not the only thing tat a woman does.

abt God..yeh..but tat's the way it's believed u see!!

Priya Joyce said...

@ saranya: do so but i haven't seen any man boasting abt wat the've achieved in home(management)

but there r many woman who spk abt their careers proudly..

sometimes i wonder is petty??

well this is great that we all r proud to be women inspite of all wat we face :)


Priya Joyce said...

@ swati:

yeh true.women r now equals..but sadly the question many reely r??

u and I can and cud and have..become equals..but what about all those women who still r in deep pits of ignorance....ahhhh

yet..we r proud to be women..and that is great :)

thnx dear :)

Priya Joyce said...

@ pallav:

thnx dear :)

its gud that u ren't one of those men but how many like u r there...coz still women haven't been completely liberated from what they are in:(

thnx re:)

Priya Joyce said...

@ anonymous:
that's really a sad situation..
when a woman can go and earn and financially support the family then why do men keep running from household duties??
this itself proves how special we all women are..and how important is out contribution at homes/workplaces..:)
thnx :)

Superunknown said...

do comments ka itna chota jawab.

Quest said...

Where is @Quest :(

You have broken my brain :P

Priya Joyce said...

@ sam:


Priya Joyce said...

@ amit:
lolz..aiyoo tat's bad ..heart pande illa..ippum brainum koodi :P:P

SHWETHA said...

Women are emotionally stronger & mature than men and capable of multitasking systematically.
Nice post! :)

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