I DoN't KnOW!

Strange is this life... 

strange is why we go back 

to the times that have gone...

times that would never come again...

To just think and smile wide..

To just think and let down a tear...

Silly indeed.

or beautiful??

like a time gadget..

a quick view into what HAD been...

Past is to forget 

present is to live in..

and future is to look up to...

How do I believe??

I look up to the past...

if only ..

future would have been similar...

I end..

I DOn't Know

I'm Happy

or I'm not..

Life is Strange..

Strange indeed...

Ummm... hmmmm Part 2

Two Insights....

• You trust someone not because you are stupid but because you choose to put aside all your reason and just believe in the love you have for that person.
• In hard times it becomes important to think about the good times you've had. It keeps you going. 

Hmmmm....

Umm.. Hmm..

Lot of things have been going on my mind since long. I'd like to just write them down. That's all I'm planning to do in this post.

1. Passions that last for a short while are often of uniform intensity. The ones that stay for years and years come with the spikes in the graph and a lot of patience to stick through the plateau period.
2. The definition of love is still a subject of research.
3. I wonder with the advancing age do people accumulate hatred in their systems.
4. The ones that you give to are usually not the ones you receive from.
5. The sudden love you feel towards someone could be because of your guilt as well.
6. People who do, don't speak. And people who don't do either ignore you or speak a lot of good.
7. In the hands of parents and teachers vest the power to make a human being what he/she really is. Friends can't change you permanently. They deviate you to good or to bad.
8. I can't take people who try to prove themselves to be good at everything. May be I just can't believe that such people do exist. DO THEY?
9. I tend to catch up with the issues with someone's character and then feel like a cruel step mom who questions her step children's vices. Be it vices or virtues. Cynical I've become towards a lot of people and things.
10. Adopting not your husbands name but your dad's is a good step. But I wonder why not take your mom's name as well or no surname at all (like me).
11. Contradicting point 9 I also sometimes feel it's not right of me to blame myself when I think wrong of someone. I could be right. That person could be ridiculous.
12. Hmmmmm. Dedicating the last point to the quest "So what ya Think?"

I, Then and Now!

I was a tender being

soft and serene

calm and happy

Then came the first bruise

I cried, it pained..

I thought this is the end

I'm finished..

I survived through...

bravely sharing my strength with others

ridiculing them for being so soft

..and then one day, day after day

cuts, hurt, tears, pains, aches ah!

I survived yet again.

I'm the courage. 

I'm the strength.

And today, I stand STRONG.

Dare you DEFEAT me.

Dare you let a TEAR fall off my eyes.

...but I doubt GOODNESS.

I doubt every SELFLESS move.

I shouldn't get cheated after all. 

I stand "STRONG".

I stand strong..

SIGH!!

That's what most of us have become. We are afraid to expect. We're afraid to believe. 

What to do. That's how the circumstances are.

I shared what I wrote with my dad. After he finished reading he told me that  in today's world it's not wrong to doubt people. But then when you doubt people about their good intentions and you feel people who're trying to present themselves as selfless before you could be selfish you should also try to realize that there do exist people who'll not bother about being depicted as selfish in the eyes of the world even when they are very selfless.

There's a point in that.

Be it not before the world but your mother could be the best example of that.

Love :)

 

 

Are you Insecure?

What gives rise to insecurity?

I've been wondering about it since a long long time.
I always thought insecurity is because you have something lacking in you. It might be.
But then who has everything? Or I should say who doesn't lack anything?
We often blame ourselves for being insecure.
We accept that something is really not right about the way you think of yourself or may be with us ourselves only. 
What people, well most of them, do is to just distract them with other things and make the pain less(?).
May be they don't have the courage to just face it outright.
Some wives whose husbands are after other women make themselves busy with their kids. Or may be career? Or something as such.
Some men who've very beautiful wives often doubt them, keep a watch on their every move.
I've met people who're insecure about their language, their colour, their figure, their qualification. Well then tell me who's not insecure??

I really don't find it bad to be insecure. It's not a sin. It takes time for people to accept themselves as they are. But then that insecurity does creep in every time you see someone better that you in that particular aspect. Well the reality might be they too are jealous of you and feel insecure on another aspect or may be even the same (IRONY).

Insecurity is somehow the first step of knowing yourself. You need to know what you are. What makes you bow down your head or feel pathetic about yourself.  It's an intelligent emotion if you take it in it's stride. "yes I feel bad when someone is better than me in one thing that has been my monopoly". That's ok!
I tell you let it trouble you. It's not for any bad. It's just for liberating yourself.
And yes never try and distract yourself, never try and find something that kills your time and lets you to be away from that creepy feeling for some time. It won't help in the long run.

I've just scattered some insights. Didn't have much time to put it in a better way. 
Hope everyone is doing fine.
Love!

On a Good Note.

Hello Friends!

I've been reading a book called "The Song of The Bird" since last few days. It's not a fiction novel neither is it some suspense thriller. It's a set of small stories may be just a paragraph or two each, to let you meditate upon the insight you get through it for may be a whole day.

I would like to share one with you. It is titled "Very Well, Very Well".

A girl in the fishing village became an unwed mother and after several beatings finally revealed who the father of the child was: the Zen Master who meditated all day in the temple outside the village.

The parents of the girl and a large group of villagers marched upon the temple, rudely disturbed the Master's meditation, abused him for his hypocrisy and told him that, since he was the father of the child, he should now bear the burden of bringing it up. All the Master said in reply was, 'Very well. Very well'.

He picked the baby up from the floor, when the crowd had left and made arrangements for a woman from the village to feed and clothe and look after it at his expense.

The Master's name was ruined. No one came to him for instruction any more.

When this had gone on for a whole year, the girl who had borne the child could stand it no longer and finally confessed that she had lied. The father of the child was the boy next door.

The parents and all the villagers were most contrite. They prostrated themselves at the feet of the Master to beg his pardon and to ask for the child back. The Master returned the child. And all he said was, 'Very well. Very well.'

The awakened man!
Losing one's reputation? Not much different from losing that contract one was about to sign in one's dream.
                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                              ~Anthony de Mello, S.J

Have a nice day ahead friends.

Cash Depositing Kiosk.

Of what I've seen of human relationships I'd better wish they'd not existed. I suppose that is what many many people around the world think as well.

We all know how pathetic can human relations be. But then that's what I thought till now keep us going.
If we look into the relationships we build in our life time and not the ones we already get when we are born they somehow out number the existing ones.

That uncle at the shop from whom you buy those two packets of milk. Those people who you meet on the road.
In fact I remember two people I used to pass by when I used to go for work. One of them, on the way, daily used to walk past me with two of her friends. And one day suddenly she passed me a smile and since then everyday whenever we walked past each other we smiled. I do not know what connection that was.

The second a girl who seemed to me to be a little mentally slow (challenged) but then everyday she used to be there at the door to wave at me.  To tell you the truth I used to miss her whenever that door was closed.

Train journeys, adding people you meet on train to facebook to keep in touch. Relationships are built in every way.
Today's world is full of online shopping, home delivery, ATMs and cash depositing Kiosks.
Where do we interact?
We rarely interact. We lack in building relationships outside these days. May be that is why we lack in keeping up with the already existing ones.

SAD!!

ps: Inspiration was nothing but the sight of a cash depositing kiosk at a bank.